Dreams
by Maddie Winchester-Holmes-Pond
Summary: After an emotionally revealing dream, Dean is finally forced to confront his feelings for Castiel. Will it be difficult? Knowing Dean, probably—but not in the ways he'd expect. Oneshot. Destiel, with both fluff and angst (woo hoo!)


A/N: Hi, so first of all thanks for actually clicking on my story. This is my first fanfic, and I'm not really sure how good it is, so comments and constructive criticisms are welcome (and so are favorites if you feel like it ;) Enjoy!

(btw I don't own supernatural or any of its characters, blah blah blah...)

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Dreams

"Dean?", Cas said, flashing him a second-long blue gaze before looking away nervously.

"Yeah, Cas?" Dean replied. Normally, Dean might have tried to get out of a situation like this. Too...intimate. He couldn't really remember why, but there they were, pulled over on the side of the road next to a corn field in the middle of nowhere and sitting, just the two of them, on the hood of the Impala watching the stars. For some reason, though, Dean didn't really mind it. He liked being there, close enough to Cas to feel the heat from his body radiating off him, to hear the faint sound of his heart beating in his chest.

"I...um...uh..." Dean was surprised to hear the angel's voice, normally so calm and collected, stuttering like this. Dean looked over at Cas to see that he had once again shifted his gaze back to him, this time holding the eye contact for more than a fleeting few seconds. Yes—this time, Dean could feel those blue eyes burning white hot into his soul, feel them trying to tell him something that couldn't be conveyed with just words. Dean found himself staring right back, his heart rate picking up as his green eyes delved deeper and deeper into Cas's stormy blue ones, slowly understanding what he was trying to say, as if they could trade thoughts between their locked stares.

So by the time Cas opened his mouth to try again, Dean already knew what was about to be said.

"Dean...I think I'm in love with you."

Dean took a second to let this realization wash over him. To let its meaning sink in.

Then he was gone, lost in a flood of emotion. Excitement, elation, warmth, joy. He was falling, falling, falling, for that angel, or maybe he was just admitting he had been all along. Either way, he felt like fireworks, like he was exploding in brilliant bursts of light and color.

So Dean did the only thing he could possibly do. He kissed him. He grabbed Cas by the shoulders and pulled him close and kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

"Dean."

"I'm in love with you, too, Cas."

"Dean. Wake up. I found us a job." Dean's eyes shot open, only to find Sam standing over him, staring.

"Did you just say 'I'm in love with you, too, Cas'?"

A dream. It was just a dream.

"What the hell? Of course not."

"Then-"

"Whatever Sammy. Now why don't you go get us some breakfast."

Sam nodded, a small smirk on his face as he walked towards the door of the motel room.

"Shut up," Dean called after him.

"Didn't say anything," Sam grinned back over his shoulder, as the door shut behind him.

As the minutes since the dream ticked by, Dean became more and more unsettled.

_ I kissed Cas. _

_ But it was just a dream._

_ But I still did it._

Dean was collapsed on the sofa, trying to deal with it all, when he heard a faint whoosh.

_Oh shit. Come on Cas, not now, any time but now._

"Hello, Dean."

_Shit._

Somehow, without him having spoken a word, Cas could already sense that Dean was off.

"Is there something wrong? You don't seem your usual self," said Cas. Dean, oh-so-cooly, choked on his response.

"What is it, Dean? How can I be of assistance?"

"You can't. You're my goddamn problem Cas!" Dean shot back, instantly regretting it. Cas's face displayed all the hurt and confusion of a kicked puppy.

"What did I do? I don't remember-" Sighing, Dean cut him off.

"You didn't do anything Cas. It was...it was this dream I had." Was he really going to do this? Tell Cas he had had a dream about _kissing_ him? Dean considered backtracking, but then saw Cas's concerned, trustable face. It was strange, but Dean, stoic as he tried to be, could never keep much hidden from Cas. Even this. The damn angel made him melt like butter every time. So he, if a little reluctantly, continued.

"I was in it, and so were you, and..." Cas tilted his head to the side, encouraging Dean to go on. "And... you told me you loved me. And… I kissed you."

Cas looked utterly shocked. His mouth hung open slightly, and his blue eyes were wide.

"I know...it's crazy." said Dean.

"No." said Cas.

"No, what?"

"No, it's not crazy." Now it was Dean's turn to be utterly shocked.

Cas's eyes avoided his for a while. But then, as he spoke, they locked on to his.

"I've been trying to tell you for a while now, but I've been unable to bring myself to do it. However...I think I can now," The angel stood up from his seat on the corner of one of the beds, and took a step closer to Dean. Dean, too, stood up. He had had every intention of taking just one step, like as Cas had, but his feet had other ideas. As if he were iron and the angel were a magnet, Dean felt himself being pulled towards Cas, closer and closer, until the gap between them was nearly nonexistent. Only six inches at most separated them. Dean could make out every line in his face, each separate shade of blue in his eyes. They were closer than they'd ever been, ever dared to be. He could feel the tension between them building, the air they shared filling with nervous energy, like the sky before a hurricane. Dean's heart pumped with anticipation as he felt Cas drawing in one last shaky breath. As he watched Cas let go of the words he knew were coming.

"Dean...I think I'm in love with you."

Dean didn't know what to say. In the dream, it had been so easy to say it back to him. It had felt like the obvious choice. Yes, Dean knew that dreams were supposed to be expressions of your innermost desires and all that crap. He knew that meant deep down, maybe not even that deep at all, he probably _did_ want to be with Cas. But this was the real world, and the real world was far more complicated than that.

From the moment he first laid eyes on Castiel all those years ago, Dean had known that he felt _something _for him. Scared of what that something really was, though, Dean did to it what he did with any emotion that threatened him—locked it away. But as time passed, doing so proved to be more difficult. As Dean got to know the angel, grew closer to him, saw just what they were willing to do for each other, that something swelled and swelled. In the back of his mind, Dean knew exactly what the something was—love. Not that he wanted to admit it to the rest of his mind. Just as scared as he was of admitting to being bisexual, he was of the relationship change that would come of revealing these feelings to Cas, of what the two of them would become. Because if he _were_ to reveal them, more likely than not they'd end up dating. Boyfriends. But Dean was a hunter, and hunters weren't necessarily known for their perfect love lives. Hunters always had their hearts broken, always lost the ones they loved. Whether they were lost to the complications of the job, or to the monsters that followed them home, it didn't matter. It was inevitable. And Dean didn't think he could bear it.

He was surprised, though, to realize, that the thought of loving Cas then loosing him now seemed to hurt more than the thought of ever having loved him in the the first place. In fact, it seemed to hurt far more than the latter ever did. And with that, something dawned on him.

_What if it was worth it? _

What letting go of his arrow-straight image, and risking loosing yet another person for the chance to love them, was worth it?

He couldn't be sure. But then, he got to thinking about how he'd felt in the dream earlier. What just being near Cas, or hearing his voice could make him feel—an indescribable myriad of a thousand wonderful things all at once.

And he thought it very well might be.

So, fueled by this burning hope, Dean let that familiar rush of emotion wash over him once more.

"You know what, Cas?" Dean said as a big, ridiculous, grin spread across his face.

"I'm in love with you, too."

With that, Dean threw his arms around the angel and crushed his lips into his. He could almost touch the sparks that flew around them.

What could have been hours or seconds for the man and the angel had passed, when the motel door swung open.

"Dean, I brought pancakes and—," Sam stopped in his tracks. There they were, his big brother and his fallen angel best friend, making out in a motel room. To be honest, though, it wasn't the making out part that stopped him. Anyone with eyes could see they had some kind of connection, it was bound to happen some time. No, what really stopped Sam when he walked into that room were the looks on their two faces. How they had to try and stop themselves from grinning into every kiss. Though pretty gross, it made Sam smile a little. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his brother so happy.

Not wanting to seem creepy, though, Sam coughed to alert the guys of his presence. Dean, shocked out of his make out induced daze, shot up and turned to face Sam, who was standing with his arms crossed against the door, smiling at the two of them.

"So, anything you feel like sharing?" Sam said with a smirk.

"This isn't what it looks like," Dean said quickly.

"No, it isn't. Dean and I were just..." Cas trailed off, realizing that he couldn't think of a believable excuse as to why they had just been lying together on the bed, entwined and utterly lost in each other.

"Whatever. You don't have to admit it now," Sam said with a smile. "Besides, I have to go call Charlie. I owe her $50, didn't think you two would get together this quickly."

"Great. Why don't you take the Impala for a spin while you're at it, Sammy?" said Dean, who was quickly becoming too distracted to listen. As he spoke, Sam could see his eyes drifting back towards the angel, like he couldn't handle not looking at him for too long. Sam could tell the embarrassment Dean had felt just seconds earlier was becoming unimportant—he could hear it as the shame in his brother's voice glazed over into a tone of unhidden infatuation.

Sam, understanding what Dean meant, obliged. He turned to leave, but not before stopping a moment to revel once more in the look on his brother's face. His eyes were filled with joy, with burning love for that angel. He could see it, clear as day—Cas made Dean happy. Sam, stepping back into the cold and shutting the door behind him, smiled even broader at the thought.

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so...how was it? was it amazing? was it total crap? I'd like to know. reviews are nice ;)

thanks for reading 3


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